The Cosmic Joke – I Lost My Ego… And Now I’m Looking Everywhere for It
- Sukhdev Virdee
- Jul 22
- 2 min read
Friends, I have devastating news.
I lost my ego.
I don’t know how it happened.
One moment I was defending my opinions online,
reciting Sanskrit verses to prove I’m more awakened than you,
and editing my Instagram bio to include "Nondual Mystic • Light Being • Semi-Enlightened Snacker."
The next moment…
poof.
Gone.
No more ego.
And now?
I’m absolutely panicking.
Who Will Take Offense for Me Now?
Without an ego, I can’t even get irritated by slow walkers.
No one gets offended on my behalf.
No one flares up when someone says “You’re wrong.”
Last week someone said Advaita is overrated.
And I just… smiled?
What kind of monster am I becoming?
Worst Part? No More Spiritual Superiority Complex
Without ego, I can’t silently judge other seekers.
Like the guy who says “OM” but pronounces it like “Umm.”
Or the one who chants mantras in a Cockney accent.
Before, I’d feel 10% holier and 90% pleased with myself.
Now?
Nothing.
I just love them.
I actually enjoyed their devotion.
It’s appalling.
I Tried Rebuilding the Ego
I read a few self-help books.
I did affirmations in the mirror:
“You are important.”
“You are right.”
“You are special and everyone else is slightly less evolved.”
But the mirror just reflected silence.
I Even Went to Therapy for It
Therapist: “Tell me about your sense of self.”
Me: “Gone.”
Therapist: “What do you mean?”
Me: “I mean there’s no me. Just Awareness.”
She blinked.
I blinked.
We stared at each other in pure Being.
She billed me anyway.
The Worst Offense?
I can’t even make a personal brand out of it.
How do I say:
“Hey, follow me. I’m nobody.”
“Learn how to be absolutely nothing… with me as your guru.”
Catchy, right?
So I Made Peace with It
At first, I thought something had gone terribly wrong.
I mean, how do you function without an ego?
How do you chase dreams, defend your views, or win arguments?
But now I see…
Without ego:
I breathe easier.
I love without defense.
I laugh more.
I live more.
Turns out, losing the ego is like misplacing a heavy backpack…
and then realizing you never needed it in the first place.
The Cosmic Joke?
I tried so hard to find myself…
only to discover there was no “me” to find.
The seeker was the sought.
The drop was the ocean.
The ego was a story the Self told itself…
…for entertainment.
😂 Have You “Lost” Your Ego Yet?
Let me know in the comments.
Or don’t.
I won’t take it personally.
The 5 Illusions That Keep You from Awakening – And The One Truth That Sets You Free
One of those illusions is the belief that “ego must be destroyed.” Let’s unravel that together.
If you're tired of fighting the ego and ready to rest in the truth of what you are, I'm here to walk with you.
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