How Do I Know I’m Not Just Fooling Myself Spiritually?
- Sukhdev Virdee
- Jul 4
- 3 min read
There comes a quiet fear in many sincere seekers:
“Am I actually waking up…
or am I just playing a spiritual role?”
“Is this true stillness…
or just mental silence I’m mistaking for awakening?”
“Is this peace real…
or just my ego pretending to be peaceful?”
It’s an important question.
Not to create doubt—
but to sharpen your discernment.
Because the spiritual ego is subtle.
It wears robes of silence.
It speaks Advaita quotes.
It attends satsangs,
smiles serenely,
and calls itself awakened.
But the truth cannot be faked.
Not for long.
And deep down,
you already know the difference.
The Spiritual Ego Is Just Another Mask
When the old identity begins to dissolve,
something inside rushes to replace it.
The “me” may no longer say,
“I’m a failure” or “I’m not enough.”
Instead, it now says:
“I’m conscious.”
“I’m beyond the mind.”
“I see through illusion.”
But it’s the same voice—
the same need to be someone,
just wearing new clothes.
It’s the ego… in spiritual drag.
Still looking for meaning.
Still chasing recognition.
Still measuring progress.
So, How Do You Know?
There’s no checklist.
But there are signs.
Ask yourself:
Do I feel the need to convince others of my awakening?
Am I defensive when someone questions my path?
Do I seek validation from other seekers or teachers?
Do I cling to experiences and call them realization?
If the answer is yes,
don’t panic.
Don’t judge yourself.
Just… pause.
Become aware of the impulse.
That awareness itself
is the beginning of Truth.
Truth Is Simple. Ego Is Complex.
The Self doesn’t argue.
It doesn’t defend.
It doesn’t try to prove anything.
It simply is.
When you’re anchored in That,
you don’t feel the need to posture,
teach, or posture as one who knows.
You become quieter.
Not because you're suppressing speech—
but because the mind has nothing left to say.
There’s no strategy.
No performance.
No “spiritual behavior” to maintain.
Just clarity.
Just Presence.
Be Brutally Honest, and Radically Kind
This path doesn’t ask for perfection.
It asks for honesty.
If you’re caught in spiritual ego—admit it.
If you're pretending to know more than you do—see it.
If you’re avoiding pain by hiding in concepts—feel it.
No shame.
No guilt.
Just truth.
And that truth will set you free.
Not through struggle,
but through surrender.
Let all pretenses fall.
Let all roles dissolve.
Even the role of “seeker.”
Even the role of “awakened.”
Then what remains
is naked Being.
Stay Grounded in Direct Experience
Don’t hold on to what others say.
Don’t recite what your teacher taught.
Don’t cling to something you once felt in meditation.
Those are echoes.
Beautiful echoes,
but still only echoes.
Truth is not yesterday’s insight.
Truth is Now.
Look freshly.
Right here.
Right now.
Without memory.
Without projection.
Are you aware?
Are you present?
Are you here, or are you in a concept about being here?
That subtle shift
makes all the difference.
The Test Is in Daily Life
You’ll know you’re on the right track
not by how still your meditation is,
but by how open your heart is.
Can you remain soft
in the middle of chaos?
Can you listen
without waiting to reply?
Can you love
without needing anything in return?
These are the signs of real awakening—
not words, not concepts,
but life itself becoming sacred again.
Not because you’re spiritual,
but because you are nothing—
and from that nothingness,
you can meet everything.
Keep Letting Go
The journey is not about arriving.
It’s about letting go
again
and again
and again.
Let go of what you think you know.
Let go of who you think you are.
Let go of even your highest experiences.
And what remains?
This.
Still.
Unmoving.
Pure.
Clear.
You don’t have to worry about faking it anymore.
Because there’s no one left to fake it.
🌱 For the Sincere and Silent Ones
The 5 Illusions That Keep You from Awakening – And The One Truth That Sets You Free.
This guide is for seekers who are ready to pierce through even the subtlest illusions.
We’ll sit in the truth together—no masks, no roles, no pressure. Just what’s real.
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