The Seeker’s Paradox: Why Searching for Enlightenment Delays It
- Sukhdev Virdee
- May 25
- 2 min read
For years, I searched.I read every scripture, attended online satsangs, meditated for hours, and questioned every thought. I was hungry for Truth. But somewhere along the way, the seeking became exhausting.
Why wasn’t I “getting it”?
Why was I still chasing glimpses, still clinging to teachings, still hoping for that final breakthrough?
Then something unexpected happened: I stopped.
I didn’t stop out of wisdom—I stopped because I was spiritually burned out.
And in that very burnout… the shift occurred.
Seeking Keeps the Seeker Alive (The Seeker’s Paradox)
What I hadn’t realized was that my very search for awakening was reinforcing the identity of the seeker.
As long as I was looking for something in the future—a better state, a deeper insight, a final moment of realization—I was subtly affirming:
“I am not there yet.”
And so the ego disguised itself in robes. It had simply swapped worldly ambition for spiritual ambition.
But ambition is ambition, no matter how noble it appears.
Awakening, I came to see, doesn’t arrive as a result of striving.
It reveals itself in the absence of the seeker altogether (That's The Seeker's Paradox).
The Moment I Let Go
That moment of “giving up” wasn’t a failure—it was Grace.Without knowing it, I had finally surrendered.
Not to a god or a guru… but to what already is.
To the present moment, exactly as it is.
In that letting go, I noticed something subtle:
There was stillness.
There was awareness.
There was presence.
And there was no “me” trying to achieve anything.
Just the simplicity of being.
The Truth Has Always Been Here
Here’s the paradox no one tells you when you begin the path:
The one who is trying to awaken is the very illusion that must dissolve.
What you are looking for cannot be found by the mind or attained by the ego.
It is already here—shining behind your thoughts, beneath your emotions, within every breath.
When you stop trying to reach it…
You notice: It never left.
A Gentle Practice
Try this today. Just for a few minutes.
Sit down.
Don’t meditate.
Don’t concentrate.
Don’t try to awaken.
Simply sit and be.
Let the thoughts pass like clouds.
Let sounds come and go.
And notice that all of it is witnessed by something utterly still, utterly silent, utterly aware.
That is You.
Not the one trying to awaken—But the Awareness in which all awakening happens.
For Fellow Seekers Ready to Stop Seeking
If this message speaks to your heart, you may be closer than you think.
Not closer to some destination—but closer to the realization that there is nowhere to go.
To help guide you gently into this understanding, I invite you to receive my free guide:
And if you're ready to walk this pathless path with someone who’s been where you are, I offer online courses and personal 1:1 sessions tailored to your journey:
You don’t need to become anything.
You only need to remember who you are.
With love,
Sukhdev
Comments