The Cosmic Joke – Enlightenment: Now Available in 3 Easy Steps 😂 (Or Not)
- Sukhdev Virdee
- Jul 16, 2025
- 3 min read
Introducing the revolutionary new path to awakening!
Guaranteed freedom.
Zero effort.
100% ego-proof.
Step 1: Watch 2 YouTube videos.
Step 2: Download 1 spiritual app.
Step 3: Talk about it constantly.
Congratulations.
You’re now officially Enlightened™.
Add a Sanskrit word to your Instagram bio,
buy a crystal (or five),
and post a selfie with the caption:
“Just Being.”
We Want the Self — But in a Convenient Size
It’s funny, isn’t it?
We live in a world where everything is one click away.
Groceries. Gadgets. Romantic partners. Instant karma.
So naturally, we want instant enlightenment too.
No mess.
No mystery.
No surrender.
Just a PDF with clear steps.
We don’t want the death of the ego.
We want the ego to attend a silent retreat, come back renewed,
and be more “spiritual” than before.
We want awakening-as-a-service.
But the Self cannot be added to your cart.
The Mind Asks, “How Do I Get There?”
The ego always asks:
“What’s the process? What do I do?”
It wants a plan. A system. A strategy.
It says:
“If I meditate for 21 days,
do shadow work for 30,
and visualize the formless…
I should arrive by mid-March.”
It sees awakening as a destination.
A trophy.
A personal accomplishment.
It doesn’t realize that the one who wants to awaken
must vanish for awakening to be seen.
The joke?
The mind wants to use itself to get beyond itself.
It’s like asking the thief to catch himself—
and then giving him a badge and a book deal.
Even the Spiritual Marketplace Has Ads
You know the kind:
“Learn the 5 Secrets to Destroy the Ego (Before It Destroys You).”
“Discover How Ancient Monks Manifested Their Reality in 30 Days.”
“Become a Certified Enlightenment Coach in Just One Weekend.”
Click. Swipe. Enroll.
We laugh… but we also fall for it.
Because the mind is always looking for shortcuts.
And the most tempting illusion is this:
“I can keep being me… just a more awakened version.”
But you can’t become who you already are.
You can only stop pretending to be who you’re not.
The Truth Has No Steps
Here’s the real message I wish I could package and sell (but it would never go viral):
There are no steps.
There is no process.
There is no final destination.
There is only This.
Here. Now.
Already fully what you are.
The mind can’t grasp it.
Because it’s not a concept.
It’s a falling away of all effort to “get it.”
You’re not on a path.
You’re on a treadmill made of thoughts.
And the moment you stop chasing…
you arrive.
Though you never left.
But Wait, There’s Still a Catch!
This awakening has one downside:
You don’t get to take credit for it.
No certificate.
No applause.
Not even a new identity.
Because the one who was seeking it?
Was never real.
The moment you see that clearly,
you’ll laugh.
Not because you “achieved” anything…
but because the whole drama collapses.
And in that laughter,
freedom breathes.
😂 No More Steps. Just Stop.
The 5 Illusions That Keep You from Awakening – And The One Truth That Sets You Free
(Spoiler: One of the illusions is that there’s something to do.)
No 3-step enlightenment plans. Just honest, heartful inquiry into what you already are.
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