Why Am I Afraid to Let Go of Control?
- Sukhdev Virdee
- Jun 20
- 3 min read
Control is the last mask the ego wears.
You can renounce desires,
disown identities,
detach from relationships,
but still hold tightly
to the reins of your little life.
You plan every step.
You protect every outcome.
You micromanage your emotions, your awakening, your spirituality.
Why?
Because letting go feels like death.
And in truth, it is.
Not death of the body—
but death of the one who thinks it's in charge.
The Ego Survives by Clinging to Control
The ego isn’t a villain.
It’s a survival mechanism.
It wants to predict, prepare, prevent.
It says,
“If I just manage things properly, I won’t get hurt.”
“If I plan well enough, I won’t fail.”
“If I stay in control, I won’t be abandoned.”
But the very effort to control is rooted in fear.
And fear is always a sign that we’ve forgotten who we are.
The ego believes it’s a separate entity,
adrift in a chaotic world,
fending for itself.
And so it builds fortresses of control.
But what happens when those walls collapse?
That’s when Grace enters.
Surrender Is Not Giving Up — It’s Waking Up
To surrender is not to be passive.
It’s not weakness.
It’s not spiritual laziness.
True surrender is the courage to trust Reality
more than your thoughts about it.
It’s a willingness to stop managing your life
and let Life live through you.
It means letting go of the idea that you know better than God.
It means saying:
“I no longer need to control my path… I am willing to be led.”
That shift doesn’t make you a victim.
It makes you available.
And in that availability,
miracles happen.
Why Letting Go Feels So Hard
Because the ego is terrified of the unknown.
It would rather suffer predictably
than dissolve into freedom.
Even spiritual seekers
cling to techniques, teachers, timelines.
They say,
“I’m willing to awaken,
but only if it happens like this,
with this result,
in this time frame.”
They seek liberation…
but only if they can supervise it.
But freedom is not negotiable.
It demands everything.
It demands the whole you.
Even the one who’s trying to awaken.
The Deeper Truth: You Were Never In Control
This is the painful paradox.
You’re afraid to let go of control…
…but you never had it to begin with.
You didn’t choose to be born.
You didn’t choose your first breath.
You don’t choose your thoughts, your emotions, or when your heart beats.
Life is happening through you,
as you,
in spite of all your plans.
Control is the illusion.
Surrender is the reality.
And once this is seen clearly,
you stop resisting what is
and begin to flow with it.
How Do You Actually Let Go?
Not by forcing it.
Not by thinking about it.
Not by pretending you already have.
You let go by…
Becoming aware of how tightly you’re holding on.
Notice the tension. The control. The fear underneath it.
Asking yourself:
“What am I afraid will happen if I let go?”
(This question alone can reveal everything.)
Turning within:
Who is the one trying to control?
Can you find this “controller”?
Or is it just a bundle of thoughts and fears?
Trusting the deeper rhythm of life.
Even now, life is breathing you.
Isn’t that enough proof that you’re being held?
Letting go is not something you do.
It’s what happens when you stop interfering.
This Is the Path of the Bhakta, the Jnani, and the Seeker of Truth
Whether you walk the path of love,
the path of knowledge,
or the path of selfless service…
…surrender remains the heart of the journey.
Because to love God is to let go of “me.”
To know the Self is to drop the illusion of the doer.
To serve fully is to be empty of control.
And when the “I” who clings dissolves—
what remains is peace,
clarity,
and an unshakable trust in the flow of Being.
Ready to Let Go—Truly?
The 5 Illusions That Keep You from Awakening – And The One Truth That Sets You Free.
Begin the deeper surrender into what you already are.
Sometimes it takes another to show us how to release what we didn’t know we were holding.
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