Why Do I Keep Having Spiritual Highs... and Then Crashing?
- Sukhdev Virdee
- May 31
- 3 min read
There was a time I felt on top of the world.
Floating in peace.
Radiating joy.
Awake. Untouched. Free.
Then, without warning, it vanished.
I was back in the mess—
reactive, restless, and wondering if any of it had been real.
If you've tasted deep silence and still found yourself yelling in traffic the next day,
if you’ve meditated your way to bliss only to collapse into despair…
you are not alone.
This pattern—spiritual highs followed by crushing lows—is more common than you think.
And it’s not a mistake.
It’s part of the journey.
Awakening Is Not a Constant State—It's a Revelation
Many seekers believe awakening is a permanent state of inner bliss.
A mountaintop they climb and never descend.
But that belief… is itself an illusion.
Awakening is not a feeling.
It’s not a mood.
It’s not even an experience.
It’s a recognition—a direct seeing of what you truly are.
And like the sun behind the clouds,
it never actually disappears—
even when it seems like it has.
The High Is the Invitation—The Crash Is the Test
Spiritual highs are beautiful.
They show you what’s possible.
They give you a glimpse beyond the ego.
But they are not meant to be clung to.
When the high fades, it’s not because you failed.
It’s because life is showing you where you're still identified—
where you're still attached, reactive, afraid.
The crash is not a punishment.
It's the purification.
This Is Where the Real Work Begins
Anyone can feel peaceful on retreat.
Anyone can feel spacious after a breakthrough.
But what happens when you’re back in traffic?
Back in family dynamics?
Back in uncertainty?
Can you remember who you are even there?
Can you hold stillness in the middle of the storm?
The point of the spiritual path is not to escape the world.
It’s to wake up within it.
To bring the silence of Being into your relationships,
your work,
your body,
your breath.
That’s living the teaching.
Stop Chasing the High — Start Grounding the Truth
If you're constantly trying to get back to a previous spiritual state,
you’re turning the path into another addiction.
It’s okay. I’ve done it too.
But eventually, I had to ask:
What if the crash is where the gold is buried?
What if presence isn’t found in bliss,
but in learning to stay with discomfort?
The deeper truth is:
You are the Awareness behind both the high and the low.
You are the unchanging presence beneath all change.
When this is seen clearly,
the crashing ends—because there’s nothing left to fall from.
A Path of Integration, Not Escapism
Many seekers are sincere, but stuck.
They keep looking for better meditations, deeper retreats, more powerful teachers—
all to chase another high.
What’s needed is not more peak experiences.
What’s needed is integration.
Learning to bring stillness into your daily life.
Turning self-inquiry into your default posture.
Letting every emotion, thought, and trigger become your guru.
That’s when the teaching comes alive.
Want Support in Grounding Your Awakening?
This is why I offer 1:1 private sessions and guided online courses—
to help sincere seekers not just glimpse the truth,
but live from it.
You don’t have to keep riding the rollercoaster.
You can rest in what doesn’t rise or fall.
Free Guide: The First Step to Stabilizing Awakening
Still feeling like you’re bouncing between light and darkness?
Download my free guide:
“The 5 Illusions That Keep You from Awakening — And The One Truth That Sets You Free”
It’s a gentle but piercing map to help you come back to stillness.
Your ups and downs don’t mean you’re broken.
They mean you're being refined.
The wave will rise and fall.
But the ocean?
It remains.
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