Why Doesn’t Self-Realization Last?
- Sukhdev Virdee
- Jun 21
- 3 min read
You had a glimpse.
The world vanished.
You were no longer separate.
There was only Presence… still, silent, infinite.
But then…
You came back.
Back to thoughts.
Back to emotions.
Back to the story of “me.”
And you wonder:
“Why didn’t it last?”
“Did I lose it?”
“Was it real?”
“How can I return to that clarity forever?”
Let me say this simply:
What you glimpsed was real.
What you returned to is the illusion.
A Glimpse Is Grace, Not Graduation
For many seekers, the first glimpse of Truth is profound.
It might come during meditation,
in nature,
in deep grief,
or for no reason at all.
Suddenly, everything stops.
There is no “you” experiencing the moment.
There is only the moment…
untouched,
immeasurable,
full of God.
But then the mind returns—
it claims the moment,
labels it as “a spiritual experience,”
and begins chasing it again.
The ego is crafty.
Even when it dissolves, it returns to ask:
“How can I make that happen again?”
And now you’re stuck.
Longing for the Eternal
while still believing in time.
Self-Realization Isn’t an Experience
This is where many seekers get confused.
They equate Self-realization with a state—
a peak,
a bliss,
a spacious silence.
They think it’s something that happens,
something that begins and ends.
But Truth is not a state.
Truth is your nature.
You didn’t glimpse something new—
you glimpsed what was always there.
The experience came and went.
But what it revealed… is always here.
You’re not meant to hold on to the experience.
You’re meant to recognize the unbroken Presence underneath all experiences.
Why It Feels Like You “Lost” It
You didn’t lose the Self.
You simply resumed identifying with thoughts.
You began believing the old story again:
“I am this person.
I need to become enlightened.
I must return to that state.”
The moment you take yourself to be someone on a journey,
you step out of the Now
and back into seeking.
But here’s the secret:
The Self didn’t leave.
You just stopped noticing it.
It’s like staring at the waves
and forgetting the ocean beneath.
You cannot lose what you are.
You can only forget to look.
Stabilization Is the Burning Away of the False
So what now?
If you can’t “hold on” to Self-realization…
and you can’t reproduce it…
What’s the point?
The point is this:
Let the glimpse do its work.
Let it burn away the lie that you are the doer.
Let it dissolve the illusion of becoming.
Let it whisper quietly inside you:
“You are already That.”
Stabilization isn’t about maintaining a state.
It’s about no longer being fooled by any state.
This Is a Pathless Path
You may continue to meditate,
inquire,
listen,
read,
serve.
But don’t do any of it to regain what you lost.
Do it as an expression of devotion
to what is always already true.
The path is not to reach the Self.
The path is to remove everything that says you are not the Self.
And that removal happens through deep honesty,
watchfulness,
and love.
This Is Why Teachers Say “Stay Quiet”
Because it’s not about going back.
It’s about being still—now.
When the mind moves, it creates time.
When the mind stops,
you’re home.
Stay in that stillness.
Even when thoughts arise.
Even when the body moves.
Even when the world dances.
You remain.
Unmoving.
Untouched.
Unborn.
That is Self-realization.
Not an event.
Not a high.
But the quiet seeing of what never began and can never end.
🕊️ A Note to the Seeker in You
You haven’t failed.
You haven’t slipped.
You haven’t lost anything.
In fact,
you’re being invited deeper.
Beyond the fireworks.
Beyond the bliss.
Beyond even the witnessing.
Into the simple, clear recognition:
I am.
Not as a person.
Not as a body.
Not even as a seeker.
Just… I am.
Stay with that.
Let it consume everything else.
Ready to Go Deeper?
The 5 Illusions That Keep You from Awakening – And The One Truth That Sets You Free.
Let it guide you past the traps of the seeker’s mind.
Sometimes what remains unseen only needs a mirror.
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