You Had a Real Awakening — So Why Does Confusion Still Remain?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BpW080Dm-Jc

Video Summary

You had an experience. Something shifted — radically, unmistakably. The world felt less solid, the sense of being a separate self dropped away, and what remained felt more real than anything you'd touched before. And then the mind came back. And with it came the questions: What was that? How do I get back there? Why can't I make sense of it? This is where most seekers get stuck — not because the experience wasn't real, but because they're looking to the mind to confirm something the mind can never contain.

Here's what actually happened in that awakening: nothing. Not nothing as in blankness — nothing as in you were absent. The one who separates, labels, fears, and narrates was simply not there. No "I," no this-and-that, no then-and-now. And the moment that one thought — I — returned, so did all the confusion. Confusion was never in the awareness itself. It was always only in the thoughts that followed. The awareness that was present during that experience is the same awareness that's here right now, hearing these words. It was never lost.

So what do you do with the confusion? You don't dissolve it by chasing the experience again. You use a clear thought to remove a confused one — like pulling a thorn out with another thorn — and then you throw both away. Neither clarity nor confusion is the destination. What remains when both are gone is what you already are. The work now is stabilisation: letting that awareness become the ground of everything, not just a peak you visit. If this points to something you've glimpsed but can't stabilise — a Clarity Call is where we look at it directly together.

Full Transcript

So the question is: if awakening is real, why does it still feel confusing?

Let's take a look at the words used in this question. "Awakening is real." So awakening is being equated to real. And then — why does it still feel confusing? Because if there's something that's real, it should be clear. There is the assumption that if awakening is real, it should have removed confusion. There should be absolute clarity. So why does confusion still remain?

What happens is many people have awakening experiences — genuine awakening experiences — and when the mind comes back after that little flash, that little experience, the mind has no explanation as to what that was. It has no idea how to get back there. There is no clarity on what that was. And so doubts and confusion creep in.

This channel is going to be absolutely experiential. We're not just going to give you knowledge that is intellectual. That is very important as well. But more important than that is the experiential, living experience that you have to have of this.

So: confusion belongs to the mind. And awakening belongs to consciousness and awareness. And both of them are not separate — they're one and the same.

Let's do a little exercise. Close your eyes if you can. When you close your eyes, you shut down 70% of what the brain is processing — so you have fewer things to be aware of. Just relax.

If there are any thoughts that are coming in, just observe them. Do not pay attention to them. Let them come. Let them go. You're not getting attached to them. They come, they go.

Now, at the count of three, what I want you to do is become aware of what your next thought is going to be. Not thoughts coming and going — just: what is my next thought going to be?

1… 2… 3.

Just pay attention to what your next thought is going to be. And let's wait and see.

Consciously waiting for the next thought to come.

Don't give up. Wait for it.

And you'll find that when you become aware of your next thought, it doesn't pop up. It doesn't appear.

The reason being: your attention, your awareness, your consciousness is diverted toward the mind itself. And in that moment, the mind cannot function on its own. It can function with your permission — you can consciously think a thought. But if you simply become aware of what your next automatic thought is going to be, it won't appear.

Now, while you're in this state — while you're waiting for the next thought — realise this: there is no confusion of any kind at all. There is no clarity of any kind at all. It is what it is.

Now if you divert your attention, you'll find your mind floods with thoughts again. Thoughts pop up. You remember what you need to do, who called, what's next.

So — if awakening is real, why does it still feel confusing? It's because this state of consciousness and awareness, the mind cannot explain in thoughts. What is this? It's not a what. Where is it? It's not somewhere. When is it? It's not in time. So the mind cannot grasp that which is not an object within time and space. And thus a thousand questions arise. Doubts arise. Confusion arises.

If that awakening experience were false — if it were just another passing experience — nobody would even bother about it. But if you are alert, awake, and aware of this right now, this will feel more real than anything else in the world that you've ever experienced. And if you had a genuine awakening experience, you must have recalled that it felt so much more real than what you experience in the physical world.

So the question is only: if that is so real, why am I still confused?

Awareness and consciousness is never confused. The reality is never confused. Confusion belongs to the mind in the form of thoughts. Seeking clarity — that also comes in the form of thoughts. Clarity thoughts come and remove confused thoughts.

They nullify each other. Neither clarity remains nor confusion remains. What remains is what is.

What one needs to do is to stabilise this awareness so that it becomes the ground of everything else — the life that you as a human being are living. The ground of that is this awareness. And that comes with stability.

So just to answer clearly: confusion is not in awareness or consciousness. It is in the mind, in the form of thoughts — seeking answers in the form of thoughts that will give the mind clarity so that no more confused thoughts arise.

So what actually happened in your awakening?

Somebody had a spiritual awakening experience. An experience that cannot be understood by the mind. An experience that felt so real that when the mind comes back, this physical world seems unreal by comparison. An experience that changed the course of your life.

Since birth, whatever this body and mind has experienced has always been about something else. There are only three kinds of experiences we have: emotional, intellectual, and physical. I felt something. I thought of something. I did something.

What is common in all of this? It's all about something.

Here is an experience which cannot be explained because there was no thing — no separation, no this and that, no here and there, no then and when. And most importantly — there was no me in that experience. That's why the question comes up. Otherwise, you would get these answers anywhere.

And then you probably think: what did I do on that day just before it happened? Let me try to do that again. And you keep trying. Never happens.

That's where we call grace. We don't know when or where that spiritual awakening experience happens. It's all grace. And that doesn't mean you don't carry on with whatever spiritual practices you might be doing.

So what actually happened? If you had a genuine spiritual awakening experience, the number one thing that must have happened is that you were absent. The concept of you — I, me, myself, as a separate entity from everything else — that idea, that concept, the I-thought, the ego — it was not there.

You, as you knew yourself to be, were absent in that experience.

And then when the mind came back, that thought came back — I — and all the other thoughts came back: what just happened, how did it happen, what was that?

But during that experience, remember: for the human being, things are always happening. In the awakening experience, nothing happened. And nothing can only happen when you are absent. The idea, the ego, the mind was absent.

Just that one little thought — I — separates me from the rest of the world. That being absent made what I experienced clear: everything is one. I am not separate from anything. In fact, nothing is separate from anything else. There is no concept of time, no concept of space during that experience.

The number one thing that matters is that you were absent there. That is the only thing that happened — and that is not a thing. It is the absence of you that happened in that awakening experience.

So if the truth was seen, what is still confused?

Awareness has no confusion. That awareness — that stillness — is not confused.

Confusion belongs to the mind in the form of thought. So thought is still confused. What is it confused about? That awareness, that consciousness, that cannot be described or explained in words — yet it was absolutely real.

Thought needs clarity. How does one confused thought get removed? By another thought that brings clarity. You must have heard the story: if a thorn pricks your foot, you take another thorn to remove it — and then you throw away both. You don't keep the one that helped you. So you have your confused thought — the pain thorn. You take a clarity thought and remove it. And you throw both away. Neither clarity remains nor confusion remains.

When you get clarity, you end up stabilising in the state of awareness — in your true nature. There is no confusion. No doubt. No nagging from the mind — why, why, how, where? All of that is gone.

When you come across teachers who say it can't be known — yes, awareness as an object cannot be known. But that does not mean you stop trying to understand. Tell me why it can't be known. If I say it can't be understood, I understand that. If I say it can't be seen, I see that. If I say it can't be known, I know that.

When you get clarity, the confused thoughts, the doubts, the feeling of am I going mad, is this normal, did I sign up for this — all of that dissolves. People can't make sense of what you tell them. I became the universe. I was nothing. There was nothing. Makes no sense to the common person. But you know it was real. So you seek clarity.

That which cannot be known can be known by knowing why it cannot be known. That's what the scriptures are really pointing at. It's unlearning. It's unconditioning.

Two ways of doing it: either you learn what it is not, or you give up what you already know. In both ways, you'll end up with that which cannot be known.

Now notice again — just one more time, right now.

The awareness in which you're hearing my voice. The awareness in which any thought or any question is arising. That awareness. That stillness. That silence.

No thought. No confusion.

Nothing is confused here. In fact, everything is beautifully as it should be. It just is what it is.

It's like leaving the ocean alone — not trying to analyse every wave that's moving. Just let it be.

It just is what it is. No confusion.